5 ideas to encourage your child under 3 to love the garden.
Wouldn’t it be great to have your young child, grandchild, niece or nephew enjoy your garden with you? It’s important the next generation feels happy and comfortable in nature, so we should help them any way we can. There’s nothing like watching little excited faces when they hold a pill bug or get to eat something they pick off a plant. They are learning to connect with the Earth and her natural life processes. However, young children are funny in the garden. They don’t have the same goals (or impulse control) as we do. They tend to dig up the wrong things, step on stuff, and pick the unripe fruit. Why is it ALWAYS the unripe ones?!
As I write this I have three children under age 6 and even still I have to remind myself of what the scene is about when the youngest ones are part of the event. I started gardening years before I had kids and when it was just me, a spade and some sunlight, the experience was much different. Unfortunately, often my adult interests (to-do list?) in the garden have sometimes conflicted with theirs. I’ve made many mistakes and would like to believe I’ve stumbled my way into figuring a few things out.
I gotta start by mentioning that for children under 3, there are some dangers in the garden. Even though I only recommend the organic approach to growing food so you will not need to worry about toxic chemicals, a middle-aged baby could definitely get into a bit of trouble. There are still insects that may sting and bacteria in the natural soil that can give a tummy ache. Not to mention choking hazards. While a single unwashed strawberry or handful of dirt in the mouth may not be too harmful, you may find yourself doing a lot of redirecting, blocking and saying “no.” For the kids to love the garden, we should try to stop saying “no.”
At the end of the day, the goal is for them to ENJOY it.
We want them to love the garden and growing food. We want them to want to be outside with us, eating healthy and learning. The ages between 0-3 are all about exposure rather than skill-building. We expose them to a thing when the see us enjoying it. And the purpose of the exposure is to have them enjoy it, which sets the stage for skill-building later. Sometimes we think we need to “teach” them. But this simply isn’t true. We need to expose them in a way they feel they have a natural place and are accepted for the stage they are currently in. But often we get caught up in our own tasks and agendas, whereas being in the garden with a toddler looks something like this:
You turn on the water. She wants to hold the hose. She’s watering one plant WAY too much. Other plants need water, and now she’s soaking her shirt. She. Will. Not. Give. You. The. Hose. It’s WAY too fun…. And that’s just the hose part. Next, you look up to find her reaching deep into the vine and pulling off the smallest, greenest tomatoes - and loving it. Ok, ok, pause. Deep breaths. This is what exposure is all about, right? They do some stuff. Explore. Experiment. They love it.
But I don’t want them destroying my garden.
Nope. Not after all that planning, sowing, soil amending, pest controlling, pruning, harvesting, and waiting for 10 weeks. Nope, you are not destroying my garden, child. So what do we do instead? If we want them to love the experience, here are some ideas for them to enjoy being a part of the garden while you get a few minutes of adult tasks done:
1) Set up a water table nearby
A child who is standing may love to play at a water table; dumping, splashing, tossing balls and spinning wheels. Depending on the kid, this could be tons of fun. The great part is, it can be set up right next to the garden and occupy them delightfully! If you do not want to purchase a water table, you can also just set up various large bowls and measuring cups, balls, spoons and the like for sitting water play. Nothing like a wet child outside - it’s the best kind of mess! And with our mild-to-hot temps in Texas, 4 out of 5 days are perfect weather for this activity!
2) Build or buy a sandbox. It can even be a mini version of your raised bed!
My only tip on the sandbox design is to make sure it has a cover and a bottom. Sandboxes without a cover can attract pooping cats. And with no bottom it may attract soil dwelling insects such as fire ants. Other than that, there’s no one way to do the style or size. Some children who put everything in their mouth may need more supervision than you’d like, so this may not be practical in every family. But if it works for you, they can dig and dump while you prune and plant. This parallel play harmony may only last 15 minutes, but that’s often all you need to get a few tasks done in the garden. You can even purchase little model “plants” and “flowers” or make them out of sticks that they can “plant” in the sand - just like you! Get a bit of sand tossed into your garden bed, that’s no big deal. The 5th handful in the garden (and second on your back) might be your queue to put down your garden tasks for the day and go for a walk. Adjusting expectations will lead to more happiness both ways.
3) Bring them in your arms during harvest time
Some babies and toddlers have a harder time doing something next to you rather than with you. Sometimes the sandbox or water table is fun for .07 seconds, then they want to join you doing what you are doing. If you child is needing more you time, you can integrate this togetherness and encourage garden joy at the same time. You may not be able to do substantial garden work with them wanting to be a part of everything, so find another time. When it’s time to harvest, bring your child in your arms with you and point for them which tomato they can pull. Point to the squash flowers, say what you see and show them how to pull weeds. A baby in the garden may be a 5 minute experience, but it’s still an experience. And a 5 minute check-in on your garden is a good daily habit anyway.
4) Give them a watering can
If your child loves water play but doesn’t like to stand still at the water table, I suggest getting them their own little watering can. For some reason all my children loved watching the pattern appear on the concrete walkway from the water they pour. Stepping stones have the same effect if you have any nearby your grow space. Other than that, it gives them a chance to participate directly in the activities you are modeling for them. Point to which plants need water and graciously thank them for their help. It can really light up the world of a child who enjoys caring for things and they can see how their work is paying off over time. And really you should not worry about overwatering plants in this way. Edible gardens should be watered deeply, so no pint-or-two sized kids watering can is going to do too much, especially if it’s a well-built, well-draining raised bed. Another “tool” in this category they may enjoy is an unused spray bottle. Though your shirt - or face - may pay the price of that decision, some older toddlers (who can work the trigger) love squirting plants with a simple, small spray bottle. No idea why, but hey. You may be asked to refill the watering can or bottle 50 times during the experience, so your own threshold for that will have to be taken into account, but it may buy you just enough time to do a few things in the garden, and they will be enjoying it with you!
5) Give them a “job”
When toddlers get steady on their feet, things can get wild. If you have a child in this stage, you know exactly who you are. The kid is on the move. They are opening, closing, pushing, pulling, climbing, dumping, throwing their way through your life. They aren’t content in your arms too long and are developing their own opinions. Sensory experiences are highly important and they seek them out. They may go happy-toddler-nuts on the water table, or may get board of it. If the water table or sandbox is losing it’s luster, it may be time for you to get creative. Kids who are upping their anti by wanting to lift, carry, bend over and grab are especially tricky if you are trying to get serious work done. But often a few minutes is enough (better than zero) to take in a quick harvest of peppers, check to see if the melons are ripe and dig up a weed or two. Give that toddler a job! Dedicate a couple of empty, unbreakable flower pots next to you for grabbing stones or soil and moving things about. My toddlers always loved to pull those plastic plant label markers out of the soil. I got very good at identifying young plants; or gave up trying. Stick a few more in just for the joy of it! “Can you fill this up?” or “Will you put this in here for me?” can easily buy you a few minutes and buy them some serious satisfaction. Another pro tip: I use disposable plastic gloves in the garden for most tasks. I’m not a fan of full fledged garden gloves all the time, and it’s a quick way to keep your actual hands 90% clean, so if you do need to take a quick shift from focused-gardener to parent-running-interference, removing the gloves takes .04 seconds and you have relatively clean hands to redirect your explorer.
Be patient and enjoy it while it lasts.
This stage is by no means a time for “Baby’s First Garden” and they still need age-appropriate tasks and situations. When children approach 3 (or 4 or 5 for others) you may notice a major shift in their interest in fascinating insects, budding flowers, a bee pollinating a squash flower or holding the hose more properly to water. Each child is different with their interests and abilities, there is no prescription or “right or wrong” way you should expect things to be. They are how they are. Enjoy it while it lasts. Sometime in early preschool years you will notice you can leave them unattended for longer and longer without serious detrimental impacts to your plants. They may be fully capable of harvesting, maybe even working the sheers with your help. When this stage ends, sometime between age 3-5, maybe 6, at this point you can build them their own garden where they can plant whatever they want! That’s when things really get interesting and their appreciation of the growing process can totally go up to another level.
Find your own time to garden.
Visions of giving your child their own garden will come in due time. Let’s make space for the under-3s to be under 3 and set them up for success (and set our garden up for success also). Maintaining a large, productive backyard garden can be difficult with a young child at home. Normally nap time or after bed time (or telling-partner-they-are-in-charge-for-an-hour-while-you-garden time) is the only time to get those serious garden chores done. And it’s always good to plant some extra crops anyway so if their hands move too fast you can still find some joy in the moment.
(And I’d be remiss not to mention, you CAN still have a lush vegetable garden if your life is very busy with young kids by having someone else maintain it for you. Yes, that’s a thing. A wonderful thing that’ll save you time, effort and headaches. You don’t need another headache.)